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Sunday’s Best

Taken with instagram

Session (Taken with instagram)

Back at the man cave. I’m involved in an intense NBA 2k12 matchup when my long time, pimpin ass buddy/roomate Billy (obviously this is not his real name, this is the first cheesy one that came to mind) disrespects the spot yet again by bringing a fat girl home on a Sunday. The holy day (No offense big girls). I shake my head in disgust, as I sneer at him through the corner of my left eye and vomit a little as they pass me by on the way to “where it all goes down” if you’re a billy type and still quote MTV Cribs.

Now here’s what you must understand about the situation. Billy, only fucks fat girls when’s he’s really aching to do some Lexington Steele/ Peter North shit. Hence the vomit. The thought of any man, let alone my boy who’s a grown man and weights 110 lbs, flopping around in that ass like a 6 year old in a ball pit at chucky cheese… Just the revisit of it in my mind while writing this is worth a puke.

How is this possible you may ask. How and why would such a small man enjoy such a prized beast of a woman? Because 75% of fat girls under the age of 36 will lose their fucking mind when a man they’ve been mind devouring all night pays them attention (studies may vary in areas outside of California.).

A big girl will do almost anything for some hot dude action, just like any man will kill on command if their dream woman demanded it.

“Amazing vagina is like being raped by the hottest angel” is what some meth addict told me once. I kind of understood what he was getting at.

Have you ever seen a big girl rush a man in the club. It’s like that scene from “Who framed Roger Rabbit”, when that fake ass hyaena Jessica Rabbit sees Valiant for the first time and screams “A MANNNN!!” and rushes him like LT when he demolished that QB’s leg (ahhh, puke again).

#rant

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